Life is not fair

I think that is what it is. But why that is so unfair? I thought I finally found something I was really looking for. But timing and situation are not right right now? IS there any chance I can get it again? I don't know.

I really want to keep it. I should not though. It's hurting. I don't want to be drawn . I am swimming really hard but feel like I am not going forward. What a **** is going on? I think this is my fault.