don't lie

I know. I have been changing my mind so quickly and too extreme. And I almost gave up.

I would say this is the last time. I swear this time.
Because I have been lying to myself. when I say "I don't care" that was nto true, I do.
when I said "time to move on. say good bye" I wasn't even sure what I was deciding.

but from last 2 weeks, I kind see what I want and I need. I was looking for them one by one. not the big picture of it.

But Now I see clearly and I promise this is the last time. If the same thing happen, I will give up.

I know I cannot just drop it even I know it is not good for me. I guess it is wasting my time?
But that is okay. I will learn something from it and can make sure what I am doing and can make me feel it is right to do.

I asked so many people. It was good but it was not good. I need to think things by myself a little bit more.

there is no easy way to do the thing in my life. and just be happy. that suites me better.