Things that I almost forgot

Stop,Could you please stop me falling into these evil hall?

I love Interior Design, I love thinking about Architectural nterior design, it just happens in my head. I am just addicted. I am interior design junky.

But Do I really wanna be an interior designer? I am not sure. I WISH I can be, but I cannot work under pressure and some sort of expectation. I screw all the time.

Of course I want to work at something to do with Interior design or architectural design. I was just confused.
But job is just a job. I need people, memories and feelings. Job might be able to give me joy but after you quit the job, it was just a one thing you were doing and that is it. but your life is still going on. What would I do to my life?
I want to do a lot of thing before I close my life. I wanna be a waitress, a tour guide or whatever, I want to work at different fields and meet so many different people and learn from them . I want to love so many things and people. I want to take love from them too.

I hope marriage lasts forever, but because of that idea if I afraid to be in love, I want to follow my intuition. And If separation came, I would be able to accept it. Not everything lasts forever but my sense and passion, definitely they will last forever.

I closed my channels. I mean they were shut down. Wake up Akiko. Where am I going?